Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Look At It This Way

First, find someone who is credited by others with taking care of you to taunt you, and disrespect your opinions, and never hear you out, seeming not to care whether you are a liar or an honest person.
Also, have a professor in your graduate program accuse you of threatening you life, another student named Isaac, say you've "called for blood" randomly, after this professor had made bizarre offhand comments to the class, before failing you, and after the government affiliated school's administration failed to inquire into the issue of whether the professor's behaviour had been abusive.
Have them chase you out of the only place you have to live, with the assistance of a friend of theirs, who will just slander you without a lot of reason.
Get tazed by police officers.
Get brought to a place that much resembles a prison, where you will not be allowed to leave from.
Find that when you write to protest the events to your friends, everyone one of them, if they didn't resent you, at best, was a fair-weather friend who didn't care to hear you out as the people who were supposed to be caring towards you didn't.
Get forced to take tablets that you have reason to believe will harm you, as you are being prevented from taking measures that you have reason to believe will help you, under threat of being injected.
Then, out of concern for your health, be forced to flee the area, when you are finally able to, after celebrating New Years, your 20th birthday etc. in this hideous fascist-run cesspool located in Concord, NH, and, seek help from people who are reluctant to help you, and, in some cases, bitter because you tried to help them find a good place to live affordably, in the past, and they found it to be inadequate.
Then, use up the last of your money. Already, resembling a homeless person, try to sell some artwork from the sidewalk in a heavily polluted, although highly trafficked area.
Almost end up on the street when you run out of money.
After stressing the lack of money, fruitlessly searching for a job, without a home, any capital, or a great condition of health, during one of the worst recessions of modern history.
Remember, how in the first week of architecture school, it was abundantly clear that your spacial imaging capabilities were a head above even the second most intelligent person in your class of 15, or so, and laugh, or maybe cry, at what's become of you.
Call your mother and have her cry, not because you are being denied the ability to try a very logically derived strategy to recover your health for lack of money, when your parents have assets worth millions, but because you don't think she, and her sister, her husband et. al. are smarter than you, although you are known to be in the %95 or higher where intelligence is concerned and you have no indication that any of these people truly are, or rather, both are equally intelligent as you are, and actually "give a shit" about what happens to you, or whether your basic rights are respected, while you get a fair chance to make a life for yourself.
End up living in an apartment, which it is later revealed has very bad air quality, being extremely drafty and in a polluted city, with roommates who are often not very friendly the best people you could find to live with you, while you get by on a shoe-string budget, which is less than people living in public housing have, and much less than people working minimum wage have.
Have an inability to gain simple medical tests due in part to a fear based on the precedent which has been set by the medical field of imprisoning you, and forcing drugs into your system BEFORE PROVING what they say about you is true.
You are in a bad apartment, have access to worse food, worse air, and more impure treatment (zinc) than you would have otherwise, and accidentally take to much zinc.
Realize it, get off the zinc completely to try to recover your blood counts, end up getting much sicker than you were before when you were copper deficient.
Go to the closest hospital, reachable by public transportation, thinking it will be made clear that the horrible sickness you incurred was due to copper overdosing, only for them to blame it all on your taking zinc, ignoring the fact that you admit you've made a mistake, saying you will definitely not do anything differently, and obviously failing to consider that maybe some a reduction in familial abuse would help, never mind a chance to get your life in order and pursue the things you have a talent to pursue without having people try to drug and sterilize you.
You never needed the hospital to tell you your blood counts were low, as you already knew that, but to emphasize how important they are there, they insist you be kept on because your blood counts are low, and again, the only way to stop this is through psychiatric drugs, such as risperdal/one.
Be put in a room with a man with both Alzheimers disease and a colostomy bag, arguably  among the worst possible scenarios for someone specifically recovering from a low blood count...
Be brought to court several times. Have the judges disrespect completely the logic of your arguments. Be proverbially slapped in the face by one judge who already knows your case is worthless, and a useless formality, according to him, before he awards the "decision" to the physician who in this second case, failed to bring his medical students to "teach them" because it was so obvious that the man was lying through his teeth in order to secure a hospitalization and ILLEGAL, UNCONSTITUTIONAL rights to medicate the person.
Only get released from that in order to be transferred back to NH in order to attend the wedding of your sister to a man, another "lawyer" who came on the scene just before these processes of hospitalizing you began, someone who seems  to have no objections, and therefore to be a real dirtbag, another such person, that is.
Have the surrogate guardian, a stand-in who only does your, as we noted, abusive father's wishes, ask that you be kept under lock and key for the rest of your life, so you can not escape the drugging.
(Remember, my "delusion" which allowed all these judicially, government-approved crimes to take place, was that I could determine something which might be otherwise undetectable, or recognizable, for various reason, which could be explained, and were, through my own nervous system)
Thankfully, have the workers at that office of the government affiliated mental health system, deny that you were a danger worthy of being locked up for life,without ever having a fair trial, or any chance of release.
Flee the are you grew up in again, to, once more, live in a difficult situation in an apartment, while trying to recover your health, shared with people with whom you have a tenuous relationship.
Be continually harassed my this abusive father who was always stupider than you, always crueler, always more of an animal, and have to look the guy in the eye over the video camera regularly, knowing that, in your home state, he still has the ability to drug you, and imprison you, at will, although, again you've been convicted of no crime, but only accused of believing something that isn't true, although that could never have been proven.
Come to me, and tell me, these people really are all better than you, and more intelligent, and that their offspring are the ones who are going to reduce crime, and injustice in the world.